Hi!
I have been thinking a lot about the subject of contentment as of late. God’s view of contentment and the worlds view are at complete opposites of the spectrum.
So as I studied about this I sought out answers to my question on developing a heart of contentment and here is what I found. I pray that this may be of an encouragement to each of you.
Developing a heart of Contentment can be challenging in the midst of difficult life circumstances. Contentment is defined as “having an ease of mind or satisfaction.”
Contentment from a biblical perspective is much more than mere satisfaction with life. For the Christian, the dictionary definition of contentment merely reflects the outward manifestation of his or her deep inner convictions. The wise Christian develops contentment by embracing three key truths found in Scripture.
1. Confidence in God’s Sovereignty-Ephesians 1:11
God’s sovereignty implies that God is the supreme ruler and authority, that He ordains whatever comes to pass, and that His divine purpose is always accomplished. We will never fully comprehend God’s ways, plans or purposes. We must walk in faith, trusting in the fact that God is accomplishing His perfect, sovereign plan.
2. God’s Goodness-Psalm 31:19
God is not a good God only when good things are happening in one’s life and a bad God when bad things are in one’s life. The goodness of God endures continually. God’s goodness is not dependent upon the events or circumstances. Rather, God is always, unchangeably a good God, though in the midst of difficult circumstances this is often hard to reconcile. When life events seem their worst, the truth of His forgiveness will remain one constant reminder of God’s goodness. A wise Christian can be content with life due to the fact that he or she serves a good God.
3. God’s Work-Psalm 106:2
God orchestrates every event in life for our earthly and eternal good. He is using each circumstance, each person, each experience, to mold us and shape us into the person He would have us be. He is molding us, shaping us, and pruning us through all of life’s circumstances, good or bad. The wise Christian accepts with contentment the unique work of God that he is completing in his or her life.
Developing contentment is not passively giving up, but rather a confident patience to see a circumstance resolved in God’s perfect timing. This confidence comes from the biblical truths that God is sovereign, God is good, and God is completing His work. Don’t waste precious time or energy worrying about or questioning God’s work in your life. Invest your time and energy in sacrificing and meeting the needs of others. Develop your own gifts and abilities in the midst of unresolved life circumstances. The wise Christian cultivates the principle of contentment in his or her own life.
I pray that as you think about contentment that you will use these three key truths to measure where you are at in this journey of contentment.
Knowing that Romans 8:28 says All things work together for good, to them that love God and to those who are called according to His purpose.
Blessings,
Deb
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
There is no place like Home...
I don't usually post on my blog except on Sunday night or Monday morning but today has been an especially great day in my book.
1. The Lord allowed me to get up this morning without having the headache I have
had since Monday. I still have a running nose and my voice is very good, but I was able to
spend time with him uninterrupted!
2. I was able to go to Hastings and be a part of the MOPS child care team.
I so enjoy each one of those little people who come each time!
3. I was able to have lunch with a friend at her parents house. I don't usually have the time or
get invited to do something like this, so it was fun to just be a girl friend over lunch and not a
pastor or ministry wife. I was just Debbie.
4. I got to spend the day with Hannah as we talked and listened to her music as we drove to
Hastings. I realize these days are shortly coming to an end so I am cherishing each time
we get to do something like this together.
5. We were able to spend some family time tonight watching one of Hannah's favorite DVDs.
We are cherishing these times as they have been fewer and fewer the past two
months as we have had so much on our plate in the ministry here in Red Cloud.
6. All of our spiritual kids called or emailed home today. It seems like this is often the case when
one of them calls or emails they all end up doing it on the same day. I have to say I just love
how the Lord works that out. I cherish these moments and I also want to be available and be
an encouragement in each of their lives. Thanks Esther, DeeDy and Steven!
7. Now it is time to end the day! Tomorrow is our day off and we are looking forward to just
spending it as a couple. Hannah starts back to work tomorrow after being off for over a
month. The cafe she works at closed for about five weeks to do some repairs and remodeling.
Now it is time for her to be back at work to earn that precious $ to help pay her college tuition
bill next year!
All this to say that I am so happy that I have chosen to be a follower of Jesus, a wife, mother, friend, servant, encourager, mentor and keeper of my home so that when the kids call, when I am called to serve others, when I'm asked to go someplace and when I can have a day with my hubby by myself or spend time with my kids. I am available!
In the end There is no place like home....
1. The Lord allowed me to get up this morning without having the headache I have
had since Monday. I still have a running nose and my voice is very good, but I was able to
spend time with him uninterrupted!
2. I was able to go to Hastings and be a part of the MOPS child care team.
I so enjoy each one of those little people who come each time!
3. I was able to have lunch with a friend at her parents house. I don't usually have the time or
get invited to do something like this, so it was fun to just be a girl friend over lunch and not a
pastor or ministry wife. I was just Debbie.
4. I got to spend the day with Hannah as we talked and listened to her music as we drove to
Hastings. I realize these days are shortly coming to an end so I am cherishing each time
we get to do something like this together.
5. We were able to spend some family time tonight watching one of Hannah's favorite DVDs.
We are cherishing these times as they have been fewer and fewer the past two
months as we have had so much on our plate in the ministry here in Red Cloud.
6. All of our spiritual kids called or emailed home today. It seems like this is often the case when
one of them calls or emails they all end up doing it on the same day. I have to say I just love
how the Lord works that out. I cherish these moments and I also want to be available and be
an encouragement in each of their lives. Thanks Esther, DeeDy and Steven!
7. Now it is time to end the day! Tomorrow is our day off and we are looking forward to just
spending it as a couple. Hannah starts back to work tomorrow after being off for over a
month. The cafe she works at closed for about five weeks to do some repairs and remodeling.
Now it is time for her to be back at work to earn that precious $ to help pay her college tuition
bill next year!
All this to say that I am so happy that I have chosen to be a follower of Jesus, a wife, mother, friend, servant, encourager, mentor and keeper of my home so that when the kids call, when I am called to serve others, when I'm asked to go someplace and when I can have a day with my hubby by myself or spend time with my kids. I am available!
In the end There is no place like home....
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Reflections...
Hi!
Thank you for all of your Birthday wishes and calls to Jon and myself. We have had a good weekend celebrating what the Lord has done in our lives. If you add our ages together we would be 96 years old together!
We had a fun day today at church. We surprised Jon with a Birthday Breakfast fellowship. He didn’t even find out and that was good to get him! Then during the service one of our deacons and I took it over and we didn’t let him preach. We had a time of sharing how Jon had ministered to the individuals present. It was so encouraging to hear the men talk about how they so appreciate Jon giving his time in discipling them. I was brought to tears by what these men had to say. Others shared how Jon always had an encouraging word for them or a hug. One person shared how they appreciate his teaching of the word and that he doesn’t apologize for preaching the word. A special note was read and in it an individual thanked us for leading them to the Lord in July of 2004. Wow was all I could say as we see that the ministry here has made a difference in the Kingdom.
This week I started the book of Numbers in my daily Bible reading and I want to share the author’s thought in the book introduction with you.
In the Jewish collection of Scriptures, the book of Numbers is called “In the Desert,” taken from the Hebrew word for desert in the opening verse of the book. This is a more apt title than Numbers which one suspects has probably kept a lot of people from even beginning to read the book. “In the Desert” also captures the story told in the book and its relation to prayer.
St. Augustine writes, “For it is one thing to see the land of peace from a wooded ridge and another to tread the road that leads to it.”
God had promised to lead his rescued people to a land of freedom, flowing with milk and honey. What a wonderful concept to a group of slaves whose work week was 24/7. But there was just one problem: They had to cross a desert and to trust God to give them everything they needed as they traveled. They would have to become pilgrims. It is the struggle to be a pilgrim that forms the plot of the book of Numbers or “In the Desert”
The spiritual life is like a marathon, not a sprint; it is a long obedience in the same direction, not a weekend getaway. The gift of freedom and peace is just that: a gift, free, gratis. But it is not cheap. The saved still need to put one foot in front of the other, day in and day out. William Carey said his great virtue was that he could “plod.”
That’s more than a virtue’ it’s essential for this journey. Ninety percent of learning to pray is just showing up—faithfully.
The journey of the Christian life is full of surprises and challenges, and God has much to teach us along the way. But we won’t learn anything unless we come to the school of God’s desert. From this school the graduates will sing:
(Tune to Grace How Great a Debtor)
Hitherto Thy love has blest me;
Thou hast brought me to this place.
And I know Thy hand will bring me,
Safely home by Thy good grace.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Bought me with His precious blood.
My prayer for each of us is that we will begin to see this journey of being a Christian and the importance in showing up each morning and saying Yes to our Chief Shepherd. He will guide us and lead us as we plod along. Won’t Heaven be wonderful when we be in our Savior’s presence for the rest of Eternity.
Love You,
Debbie
Thank you for all of your Birthday wishes and calls to Jon and myself. We have had a good weekend celebrating what the Lord has done in our lives. If you add our ages together we would be 96 years old together!
We had a fun day today at church. We surprised Jon with a Birthday Breakfast fellowship. He didn’t even find out and that was good to get him! Then during the service one of our deacons and I took it over and we didn’t let him preach. We had a time of sharing how Jon had ministered to the individuals present. It was so encouraging to hear the men talk about how they so appreciate Jon giving his time in discipling them. I was brought to tears by what these men had to say. Others shared how Jon always had an encouraging word for them or a hug. One person shared how they appreciate his teaching of the word and that he doesn’t apologize for preaching the word. A special note was read and in it an individual thanked us for leading them to the Lord in July of 2004. Wow was all I could say as we see that the ministry here has made a difference in the Kingdom.
This week I started the book of Numbers in my daily Bible reading and I want to share the author’s thought in the book introduction with you.
In the Jewish collection of Scriptures, the book of Numbers is called “In the Desert,” taken from the Hebrew word for desert in the opening verse of the book. This is a more apt title than Numbers which one suspects has probably kept a lot of people from even beginning to read the book. “In the Desert” also captures the story told in the book and its relation to prayer.
St. Augustine writes, “For it is one thing to see the land of peace from a wooded ridge and another to tread the road that leads to it.”
God had promised to lead his rescued people to a land of freedom, flowing with milk and honey. What a wonderful concept to a group of slaves whose work week was 24/7. But there was just one problem: They had to cross a desert and to trust God to give them everything they needed as they traveled. They would have to become pilgrims. It is the struggle to be a pilgrim that forms the plot of the book of Numbers or “In the Desert”
The spiritual life is like a marathon, not a sprint; it is a long obedience in the same direction, not a weekend getaway. The gift of freedom and peace is just that: a gift, free, gratis. But it is not cheap. The saved still need to put one foot in front of the other, day in and day out. William Carey said his great virtue was that he could “plod.”
That’s more than a virtue’ it’s essential for this journey. Ninety percent of learning to pray is just showing up—faithfully.
The journey of the Christian life is full of surprises and challenges, and God has much to teach us along the way. But we won’t learn anything unless we come to the school of God’s desert. From this school the graduates will sing:
(Tune to Grace How Great a Debtor)
Hitherto Thy love has blest me;
Thou hast brought me to this place.
And I know Thy hand will bring me,
Safely home by Thy good grace.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Bought me with His precious blood.
My prayer for each of us is that we will begin to see this journey of being a Christian and the importance in showing up each morning and saying Yes to our Chief Shepherd. He will guide us and lead us as we plod along. Won’t Heaven be wonderful when we be in our Savior’s presence for the rest of Eternity.
Love You,
Debbie
Sunday, February 8, 2009
A Prayer Answered!
Hi! Loved Ones,
I pray that your week has been fruitful and you have seen Jesus in a new and real way this past week. For this weeks thought I want to share of a personal struggle that I have been going through recently. I don’t share it to bring attention to myself but to show you how the Lord has answered my prayers.
As you all know I am beginning the final stage of parenthood at home. Hannah like the rest of our "kids will soon be leaving our home.
As each one left our home I struggled with part of my heart going with each of them. So that means that I have shed tears many tears and I have deeply missed each one and the part they had in helping me grow up more in the Lord.
I have been crying out to the Lord for Him to show me what is next in this new stage of life I am entering. He has shown me several things. One being a prayer warrior for each of my kids and others who ask me for prayer and secondly to be available to give counsel and encouragement when asked for help.
That is one of the reasons the Lord has led me to write on this blog and I pray that He will use what he enables me to say to His glory.
A couple of weeks ago I was presented with an opportunity that I have been praying about fervently. A Social Services position became available. It is a job that I did before I became a mom and really enjoyed. I went to inquire about the job and was interviewed on the spot. The interview went well and I was asked to develop a resume. Thinking that this may be something the Lord was leading me to do I followed through and last week received a call to have another interview this week. The position pays well and would provide all the extra things we are in need of such as tuition to help Hannah, paying off a debt we have, building up our retirement… So it was quite attractive to me.
As a part of the ministry team of Village Missions I am responsible to get permission from my District Representative and the Assistant Director if I am to seek outside employment over 16 hours per week. This position was 40 hours. I wrote to my District Rep to ask his permission and what he wrote back to me was wise and godly counsel. He thought it would not be the best thing for me to do as our ministry here is quite busy. He reminded me that the Lord will provide all of our needs and if I worked full time I wouldn’t have the energy to be the best I can be in being Jon’s helpmate, but he left the decision up to me. I talked to Jon and considered my District Reps counsel but still wasn’t sure what I should do.
So today I was browsing through an old ministry book I read years ago called High Call High Privilege by Gail MacDonald. I opened the book to this exact page and what the author said I feel the Lord said directly to me. She was talking about a career choice and said “ If a career is our choice, then we must realize at least two things. First the expectation of husband and wife for knowing each other’s worlds are lowered. And second, the complementary “helpmate” aspect of marriage will have to be worked at even harder. The pastor’s wife who pursues an alternate vocation may defend it on the basis of financial need. That is doubtless a justification in many homes and it may be quite legitimate, but before we content ourselves with that reasoning alone, let’s routinely assess whether we are working to take care of needs and not desires.”
Can you now see clearly as I do now that Satan was leading me down into a trap. He wants me to get my eyes off of Jesus and onto the things of the worlds that are His.
Sometimes the Lord has to hit me in the face directly for me to discern what His will is for my life. He used Gail MacDonald’s words to do just that!
Jesus wants me to sit as His feet and learn from Him. He wants me to be Jon’s helpmate and He doesn’t want to see our marriage fall into the pit that so many marriages are doing today because they are too busy. He wants me as is instructed in Titus to be a keeper of my home whether it is full with children or empty with just my husband and myself.
So you may be asking why am I sharing this with you. Could the Lord be trying to get your attention to just focus on Him? We each know the struggles we are facing in life right now.
We just want answers, but are we willing to sit at the feet of Jesus and let him lead the way?
My challenge to you this week is to spend time just seeking the Lord in His word. Cry out to him about all the trials and troubles you have. He understands. Let him lead the way. So often we think we have the answers and we have to be the one trying to work things out, but really all He wants is us to sit at His feet!
I am so glad the Lord answered my prayer so directly.
So tomorrow I will be contacting the organization and letting them know that I am declining the interview because I feel the Lord has led me to be a keeper of my home and a helpmate to my husband. They probably won’t understand, but Jesus will and he has the best in mind for my life.
I have a sense of peace even though I am still struggle in other areas of my life, that the Lord is doing something new within my spirit as I say Yes to Him and No to the world.
Blessings,
Debbie
I pray that your week has been fruitful and you have seen Jesus in a new and real way this past week. For this weeks thought I want to share of a personal struggle that I have been going through recently. I don’t share it to bring attention to myself but to show you how the Lord has answered my prayers.
As you all know I am beginning the final stage of parenthood at home. Hannah like the rest of our "kids will soon be leaving our home.
As each one left our home I struggled with part of my heart going with each of them. So that means that I have shed tears many tears and I have deeply missed each one and the part they had in helping me grow up more in the Lord.
I have been crying out to the Lord for Him to show me what is next in this new stage of life I am entering. He has shown me several things. One being a prayer warrior for each of my kids and others who ask me for prayer and secondly to be available to give counsel and encouragement when asked for help.
That is one of the reasons the Lord has led me to write on this blog and I pray that He will use what he enables me to say to His glory.
A couple of weeks ago I was presented with an opportunity that I have been praying about fervently. A Social Services position became available. It is a job that I did before I became a mom and really enjoyed. I went to inquire about the job and was interviewed on the spot. The interview went well and I was asked to develop a resume. Thinking that this may be something the Lord was leading me to do I followed through and last week received a call to have another interview this week. The position pays well and would provide all the extra things we are in need of such as tuition to help Hannah, paying off a debt we have, building up our retirement… So it was quite attractive to me.
As a part of the ministry team of Village Missions I am responsible to get permission from my District Representative and the Assistant Director if I am to seek outside employment over 16 hours per week. This position was 40 hours. I wrote to my District Rep to ask his permission and what he wrote back to me was wise and godly counsel. He thought it would not be the best thing for me to do as our ministry here is quite busy. He reminded me that the Lord will provide all of our needs and if I worked full time I wouldn’t have the energy to be the best I can be in being Jon’s helpmate, but he left the decision up to me. I talked to Jon and considered my District Reps counsel but still wasn’t sure what I should do.
So today I was browsing through an old ministry book I read years ago called High Call High Privilege by Gail MacDonald. I opened the book to this exact page and what the author said I feel the Lord said directly to me. She was talking about a career choice and said “ If a career is our choice, then we must realize at least two things. First the expectation of husband and wife for knowing each other’s worlds are lowered. And second, the complementary “helpmate” aspect of marriage will have to be worked at even harder. The pastor’s wife who pursues an alternate vocation may defend it on the basis of financial need. That is doubtless a justification in many homes and it may be quite legitimate, but before we content ourselves with that reasoning alone, let’s routinely assess whether we are working to take care of needs and not desires.”
Can you now see clearly as I do now that Satan was leading me down into a trap. He wants me to get my eyes off of Jesus and onto the things of the worlds that are His.
Sometimes the Lord has to hit me in the face directly for me to discern what His will is for my life. He used Gail MacDonald’s words to do just that!
Jesus wants me to sit as His feet and learn from Him. He wants me to be Jon’s helpmate and He doesn’t want to see our marriage fall into the pit that so many marriages are doing today because they are too busy. He wants me as is instructed in Titus to be a keeper of my home whether it is full with children or empty with just my husband and myself.
So you may be asking why am I sharing this with you. Could the Lord be trying to get your attention to just focus on Him? We each know the struggles we are facing in life right now.
We just want answers, but are we willing to sit at the feet of Jesus and let him lead the way?
My challenge to you this week is to spend time just seeking the Lord in His word. Cry out to him about all the trials and troubles you have. He understands. Let him lead the way. So often we think we have the answers and we have to be the one trying to work things out, but really all He wants is us to sit at His feet!
I am so glad the Lord answered my prayer so directly.
So tomorrow I will be contacting the organization and letting them know that I am declining the interview because I feel the Lord has led me to be a keeper of my home and a helpmate to my husband. They probably won’t understand, but Jesus will and he has the best in mind for my life.
I have a sense of peace even though I am still struggle in other areas of my life, that the Lord is doing something new within my spirit as I say Yes to Him and No to the world.
Blessings,
Debbie
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Love and Marriage...
Hi! Dear Ones,
My heart is heavy today as I write down my thoughts. It seems like Jon and I have been constantly counseling with married couples who are really struggling to make it in their marriage. I want to share with you some thoughts on courtship and marriage. Since some of you are at this point in life as you search for mates and some of you have kids and grandkids entering this stage of life I would be guilty of not sharing these dear thoughts with each of you.
This should be a given but I don’t take anything for granted. Make sure the person you are pursing or being pursued by is a devoted believer in Christ. Scripture clearly teaches about being unequally yoked and believe me I have seen first hand the problems that causes in marriage. Recently a dear friend contacted me about her marriage and after great discussions I believe that her spouse is not saved. So now she is learning how to be a godly married woman to an unsaved spouse. It is difficult and I am applauding her as she is not focusing on their issues but focusing on being Christ to her dear husband. I love you all too much to not say this-Don’t court, become engaged to or marry someone who doesn’t personally know Christ as their Savior.
Don’t look for the right person, be the right person. If you are daily practicing your faith and looking to the Lord to guide you in all directions of your life. He will find the person of His choice for you. I recently heard a speaker at a woman’s conference that a young woman should be so in love with Jesus, that only Jesus will lead the young man of His choice to her. What a great concept. I also believe that the Lord will lead the right woman to you men if you are seeking the Lord and not just seeking a mate.
You marry a person but you also marry that person’s past, family, friends… You may think that will all change, but it doesn’t. So be sure that you are 100 percent sure that you can enjoy or live in an understanding way towards your future in laws, family, spouses friends… From personal experience I haven’t always enjoyed some of Jon’s friends, but I have tried to let him enjoy them and to live in an understanding way. I know he has done the same for me in the past. If your future spouses family and friends aren’t believers you need to be dedicated to live as Christ to them so that they may see Jesus and be drawn to accepting Him as their personal Savior. You also need to be able to have trust in your future mate. They may have done things in their past that you wouldn’t do or agree with, but you have to be able to trust and to be trusted.
Marriage is hard. Trust me I know. The first five years of our marriage was filled with struggles. I thought we would never make it, but as we turned to the Lord and let His word teach us we began to grow together. I know that is what keeps Jon and I focused on our marriage. There isn’t anything that God’s word can’t help us with. We need to read it, memorize it, believe it and practice it in our daily lives!
Don’t get married without extensive biblical pre marital counseling. You may think you don’t need it and have all the answers but statistics of married Christian couples say that they have a higher divorce rate in the first three years of marriage. Most issues center around money, family, jobs and lack of time spent together. Make sure you discuss these and many other areas before agreeing to be married. A pastor who is practicing biblical counseling won’t marry you if he sees these things being issues that aren’t resolved. Men make sure that your future spouse is in agreement to the call the Lord has on your life. If they don’t you will be miserable and probably won’t last very long at the call of occupation the Lord inteneded for you, very long. Make sure she is willing to go anywhere with you! Ladies make sure you are willing to go anywhere and support your spouse in whatever the Lord calls Him to do. I chose along time ago to not worry about where we would live or where Jon would pastor. It was more important for me to be with him and to be his helpmate than anything I wanted. My goal is to be the best wife and mother I can be so that he can be the best husband, father and pastor the Lord wants him to be! It isn’t always easy and yes sometimes I get to feeling sorry for myself and for my hopes and dreams that I have given up, but I have chosen to prefer him over myself. Young woman listen and take this advice. It is biblical!! Go back to Genesis 1 & 2 and Ephesians Chapter 5
Don’t rush into a relationship. Get to know the person over a long period of time. A person’s behaviors will always come to the surface for light always brings out the darkness according to scripture. So be friends, enjoy others in a group together, spend extended time with his or her family, never commit your heart to anyone that you have any questions about. You will save yourself so much grief and possible heartache. I know when you are young, you long for a relationship and a spouse, but are you willing to settle for anyone or for God’s best!
With that being said I hope you will think and pray about this and talk to those around you who are struggling in this area.
We in ministry are in the business of creating Christian homes and we have seen the result of divorce over and over in the lives of some of our own family members and in our churches. I also see weekly godly women who live with unsaved spouses. They are held back from the ministry the Lord had for them because they chose to mary a unbeliever. I don’t want to have you go through that. Some of you have already experienced divorce and unbelieving family in your life and the scars go deeply.
May you seek the Lord will all of your heart and let him lead you to the right person to share your life with. He did that with me 20 years ago on February 11th when I said yes to marry Pastor Jon and we will have been married for 20 years in August and I can say I enjoy waking up each morning knowing that my best friend is here with me. I want the memories of our marriage to be ones that bring me the greatest joy next to my relationship with Jesus.
Remember marriage is a picture of our relationship to Jesus. What do you want that relationship to look like?
To close I want to share a blessing with you.
Yesterday the church membership voted to rename our church to The Congregational Bible Church!! PLT!!
This has been a 5 year prayer and we are rejoicing of what the Lord has done in our midst!
It was a 100% vote yes!
The love and unity amongst the church family brought me to tears as I heard for the first time two quiet older men pray out loud for our church family.
It was worth all the struggles last year to see them pray!
It showed me that they have made that commitment to Christ!
I have been praying for them for 5 years.
Know that I love you all!
Thanks for allowing me the privilege to share these thoughts.
Debbie
My heart is heavy today as I write down my thoughts. It seems like Jon and I have been constantly counseling with married couples who are really struggling to make it in their marriage. I want to share with you some thoughts on courtship and marriage. Since some of you are at this point in life as you search for mates and some of you have kids and grandkids entering this stage of life I would be guilty of not sharing these dear thoughts with each of you.
This should be a given but I don’t take anything for granted. Make sure the person you are pursing or being pursued by is a devoted believer in Christ. Scripture clearly teaches about being unequally yoked and believe me I have seen first hand the problems that causes in marriage. Recently a dear friend contacted me about her marriage and after great discussions I believe that her spouse is not saved. So now she is learning how to be a godly married woman to an unsaved spouse. It is difficult and I am applauding her as she is not focusing on their issues but focusing on being Christ to her dear husband. I love you all too much to not say this-Don’t court, become engaged to or marry someone who doesn’t personally know Christ as their Savior.
Don’t look for the right person, be the right person. If you are daily practicing your faith and looking to the Lord to guide you in all directions of your life. He will find the person of His choice for you. I recently heard a speaker at a woman’s conference that a young woman should be so in love with Jesus, that only Jesus will lead the young man of His choice to her. What a great concept. I also believe that the Lord will lead the right woman to you men if you are seeking the Lord and not just seeking a mate.
You marry a person but you also marry that person’s past, family, friends… You may think that will all change, but it doesn’t. So be sure that you are 100 percent sure that you can enjoy or live in an understanding way towards your future in laws, family, spouses friends… From personal experience I haven’t always enjoyed some of Jon’s friends, but I have tried to let him enjoy them and to live in an understanding way. I know he has done the same for me in the past. If your future spouses family and friends aren’t believers you need to be dedicated to live as Christ to them so that they may see Jesus and be drawn to accepting Him as their personal Savior. You also need to be able to have trust in your future mate. They may have done things in their past that you wouldn’t do or agree with, but you have to be able to trust and to be trusted.
Marriage is hard. Trust me I know. The first five years of our marriage was filled with struggles. I thought we would never make it, but as we turned to the Lord and let His word teach us we began to grow together. I know that is what keeps Jon and I focused on our marriage. There isn’t anything that God’s word can’t help us with. We need to read it, memorize it, believe it and practice it in our daily lives!
Don’t get married without extensive biblical pre marital counseling. You may think you don’t need it and have all the answers but statistics of married Christian couples say that they have a higher divorce rate in the first three years of marriage. Most issues center around money, family, jobs and lack of time spent together. Make sure you discuss these and many other areas before agreeing to be married. A pastor who is practicing biblical counseling won’t marry you if he sees these things being issues that aren’t resolved. Men make sure that your future spouse is in agreement to the call the Lord has on your life. If they don’t you will be miserable and probably won’t last very long at the call of occupation the Lord inteneded for you, very long. Make sure she is willing to go anywhere with you! Ladies make sure you are willing to go anywhere and support your spouse in whatever the Lord calls Him to do. I chose along time ago to not worry about where we would live or where Jon would pastor. It was more important for me to be with him and to be his helpmate than anything I wanted. My goal is to be the best wife and mother I can be so that he can be the best husband, father and pastor the Lord wants him to be! It isn’t always easy and yes sometimes I get to feeling sorry for myself and for my hopes and dreams that I have given up, but I have chosen to prefer him over myself. Young woman listen and take this advice. It is biblical!! Go back to Genesis 1 & 2 and Ephesians Chapter 5
Don’t rush into a relationship. Get to know the person over a long period of time. A person’s behaviors will always come to the surface for light always brings out the darkness according to scripture. So be friends, enjoy others in a group together, spend extended time with his or her family, never commit your heart to anyone that you have any questions about. You will save yourself so much grief and possible heartache. I know when you are young, you long for a relationship and a spouse, but are you willing to settle for anyone or for God’s best!
With that being said I hope you will think and pray about this and talk to those around you who are struggling in this area.
We in ministry are in the business of creating Christian homes and we have seen the result of divorce over and over in the lives of some of our own family members and in our churches. I also see weekly godly women who live with unsaved spouses. They are held back from the ministry the Lord had for them because they chose to mary a unbeliever. I don’t want to have you go through that. Some of you have already experienced divorce and unbelieving family in your life and the scars go deeply.
May you seek the Lord will all of your heart and let him lead you to the right person to share your life with. He did that with me 20 years ago on February 11th when I said yes to marry Pastor Jon and we will have been married for 20 years in August and I can say I enjoy waking up each morning knowing that my best friend is here with me. I want the memories of our marriage to be ones that bring me the greatest joy next to my relationship with Jesus.
Remember marriage is a picture of our relationship to Jesus. What do you want that relationship to look like?
To close I want to share a blessing with you.
Yesterday the church membership voted to rename our church to The Congregational Bible Church!! PLT!!
This has been a 5 year prayer and we are rejoicing of what the Lord has done in our midst!
It was a 100% vote yes!
The love and unity amongst the church family brought me to tears as I heard for the first time two quiet older men pray out loud for our church family.
It was worth all the struggles last year to see them pray!
It showed me that they have made that commitment to Christ!
I have been praying for them for 5 years.
Know that I love you all!
Thanks for allowing me the privilege to share these thoughts.
Debbie
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