Ministry and Family-My calling.

Hi!

I pray you all had a great week. My week was filled with so many things that today I find myself worn out but very happy to be able to be part of God's plan for my life.

Sometimes ministry becomes so overwhelming that I tend to develop a cold heart towards the very people the Lord has called us to serve. Their problems overwhelm me and when they seek help from us they often don't want to listen to the Bible that has all the answers to their problems. God's word that has all the answers doesn't seem relavant to their current needs.
They can't get along with one another or are just too busy to be involved in the church.

For the past six years Jon and I have poured our lives into a minstry that has required constant attention. The church here didn't have a foundation of faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation. We have seen this church flutuate from 12 committed people who were here to keep the church doors open to 60 people a couple of years ago when the church was growing and maturing, now averaging around 35. The more Jon has preached the Word the more active Satan has been out to destroy what God has done here in Red Cloud. Divorce, Marriages falling apart, apathy, unbelief sums up what has gone on here the past two years. There are days that I am just ready to quit, because it all overwhelmes me and then the Lord allows me to see what is going on here through someone elses eyes.

Today those eyes were through Steven's our spiritual son whom the Lord put into lives by no accident. Through a series of events only the Lord could orchestrate Steven came into our lives and has served alongside of us for the past two summers. Steven preached for his first time for the summer this morning. His topic was on the Church body and what it means to be a part of a church body. The word that he used that caught my direct attention was devoted. Often we in full time ministry feel like we are the only ones devoted to the church. The congregation goes home to their own families and lives and for the most part you don't have much contact with them until the next Sunday unless they have a problem. Our lives revolve around this church body. My prayers go out each and every week for those within our congregation that they would see the truth and would take hold of all Christ has to offer them, not only for their salvation but for eveything they need to live godly lives. We give of ourselves 24/7 to be available for their needs. Sometimes we have had to forsake our own extended families in order to minister to someone. The other day Jon and I got away for a few hours on a date. We vowed that we weren't going to talk about minsitry, but as our time together went by we found ourselves talking about our lives and it was very hard to try to seperate that from ministry. Those of you that are involved in full time ministry I think will understand and maybe those of you who aren't will get a view from behind the pulpit of your pastor and wives hearts. You see this ministry that we are called to isn't a job. You can't just leave the work behind, you can't just not answer the phone or the door bell when it rings. This ministry is our calling. It's our life. So when we see the body of Christ hurting, or drifting away, or just apathetic we feel it deeply. I often feel disappointed in people and hurt because they just don't get it.

I see myself devoted to Jon as we have traveled this road for the past 20 years together. I know at times he probably justs wants to give up on me, but he doesn't because he is so grounded in his relationship to Jesus that he see's me through Jesus eyes and not his own. I am also devoted to the four precious young adults that the Lord has placed in my life. My heart hurt this week for Esther because she is far away from her homeland and living away from the life she has known the past three years. She needs to be with family. So because I am devoted to Esther we are praying for a way to bring her home for a week this summer. I know the Lord will provide if he wants this to happen. My heart wept today thinking about DeeDy being all those miles away from us over the big pond as we refer to it. She is graduating this month, spending a month in Spain and then getting married on September 5th. Talking to her on the phone today brought back so many good memories of her time with us and saying goodbye to her two years ago not knowing if I would ever see her again this side of heaven. Watching Steven preach today and seeing the passion he has for God's Word and the people brought me to tears as I searched my own heart for the passion for people that has gone cold in my own life. He sees people through a different lense than I do most times. And then watching Hannah grow and take root to the call of ministry that she feels the Lord is leading her into caused me to weep because when you give your heart out to people and their problems and love like she does I know their will be pain and disappointment ahead but I also know that she will run to the source of her life Jesus to find the comfort and will continue on in faith to that calling on her life.

Today I saw myself as I really am. Sometimes I am blind to what the Lord wants to teach me. Am I devoted to the minstry or am I devoted to Jesus. Being devoted to a ministry will be a roller coaster ride, but being devoted to Jesus will bring joy, peace, love for others and fellowship with them but most of all it will bring back the passion and love that only my savior can provide in my life.

You see this calling on my life is something much more that I ever dreamed or imagined it to be.
I want the long-term results of my life to be more than just events. I want to leave behind people that I have influenced for the Lord. I want them to have a deep, lasting love for God, strong relationships with family and friends, great character, and the knowledge of knowing they are loved by God.

1 Corithians 13 it says, "Love never fails." Love suffers long and is kind, it bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I want this kind of love to be my driving force in my life.

If I do this, it will be exciting for all the amazing things that will happen.

So I close with a prayer from Elizabeth George's book "A Woman after God's Own Heart"
"Lord it all comes back to priorities in my life. Some of them are good and I think you are pleased with them, but a lot of them could be better. Help me to choose the best over the good and see the amazing things You want to do through me." Amen

Blessings,

Deb